42 Weeks in, 42 Weeks out: a Letter to my UBAC Baby

Dear Inara,

There is so much joy surrounding you that I almost have no words for this letter. You have been a part of our lives for your 42 week gestation and now you are just about 11 months. However, these pictures are from the day your gestation matched your time Earthside and earlier.

During my pregnancy with you, you taught me more about myself than I could have ever learned in my entire life. You taught me how to trust myself to a deep and intense level even when all around me was at odds with it. You taught me just how valuable my intuition was and that it WAS ok to trust it. You taught me how absolutely incredible and sacred pregnancy really is. You proved to me that my body is not broken. I am eternally grateful that you chose to walk that journey with me.

42 weeks in

In the 42 weeks of your Earthside life, you have opened eyes and hearts. You have brought genuine laughter and joy. You have caused tears of deep gratitude because of the deep and beautiful bond you formed with me from the first few moments of life.

Inara’s Unassisted Birth After Cesarean (UBAC)

We have cried together. We have laughed together. You started calling for me at only a few months old. Yet, you have also developed this unbelievable bond with your Dad that just melts me.

Snuggling with Daddy

You seek him for comfort. You leave my arms to snuggle his. You have these amazing routines with him. You run to the door when he comes home. You wave goodbye to him every time he leaves. In his hour of need, getting his diagnosis when you were less than 6 weeks old, you have given him such selfless and deep love. His heart needed that so much.

First walk in the snow

You are strong willed and so fearless. I used to be so fearful of your sense of adventure. Slowly though, you are swaying me to joining in instead. Your determination is admirable beyond words.

8 months old

Your sisters love you more than life itself…even when you yank their hair out. Watching you play and collaborate with them warms my heart. I wish with all that I am that I had that kind of relationship with my siblings. I hope that you remain this connected forever. You are such an important person to them and they are so thrilled to have you as their sister.

Kid hug pile

I can’t believe how fast this time has gone. I am so excited to see who you grow to be. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are courageous. You are funny. You are smart. You are important. And you are so loved.

42 weeks out

Our family wouldn’t be whole without you.

Love,

Mom

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