For three hours you have been fighting a teething, growth spurting, angry at life child down for a nap. When you finally transfer the now sleeping little and shake off the stress of the battle, gazing lovingly at their little sleeping face……THE DOORBELL RINGS.
That tiny sleeping face contorts and their body squirms and you not only have someone impatiently waiting at the door (or not because yay delivery people who ding dong ditch when leaving a package) but you also have a crying baby who is now beyond over tired and just as frustrated as you that they are awake again.
I think it’s safe to say that every stay-at-home parent has experienced this exact scenario. Some have a dog that barks in response to the doorbell or knock. All usually respond with a bunch of words that are typically seen in a blog like this, “$&%#”
For me, that scenario is with TWO children since I have twins. The battle is almost always epic and I feel victorious and accomplished when I finally get them both down for a nap and somehow scoot away from their nursing sucker lips. So, seeing as I currently at this moment have napping twins, here are some reasons NOT to arrive unannounced at someone’s home when they have kids.
- The above scenario is not a joke: I cannot tell you how many times a delivery man has left a package and rung the doorbell before skipping off back to their truck. Not only does it make often freak out the dogs, scare the crap out of me, and wake the babies, but I have NO idea it is a delivery man leaving a package and not someone who actually needs my attention. So I end up opening the door with a crying child, boob usually out, to find no one there. I cannot tell you how infuriating that is. Even more infuriating is when that person wants to come in and hang out or “just drop something off” or “just wants to chat”. Love you. Love the thought. You should have called first. No. Texted. Because I can’t answer your phone call with a sleeping baby leech either. 🙂
- More than likely, I am at least partially naked: Breastfeeding, especially in the early days, and ESPECIALLY with twins, means that my boobs are out….a lot. Newborns often stay latched 20 out of 24 hours each day or more and that is normal and necessary and right. Growth spurts and cluster feeding are pretty intense throughout infancy and toddlerhood. And quite frankly, it gets old having your shirt pulled on or fighting with it for breast access all the damn time. My solution? There is absolutely no need for a shirt when it’s warm in the house and you’re home alone with your nursling(s). Don’t arrive unannounced because boobs are most likely out and I don’t have an “oh s***” shirt laying out preparing for your arrival.
- On top of being naked, there’s a good chance I can’t physically get up: Take this scenario right here. This is the first time we got the girls latched tandem since they were in the nicu with specialists to help. They were over a month old already. If I were alone and someone knocked on the door or rang the doorbell I literally would not be able to get to the door. I have a burp cloth propping up my breasts to the right height, two pillows under each side of the My BreastFriend Pillow, at least two rolled up receiving blankets to prop the girls sideways, and two pillows to keep them in place. Plus a pillow or two behind my back and one under my butt. It took so much effort to get here. If someone rang my doorbell when I got here and disturbed the nursing session I would be a very very angry Mama Bear.
- My home is a disaster: I play with my kids. I cook food for them. I try to cook food for myself. We make messes. We make dishes. They throw food on the floor. They decorate the home with toys. I probably haven’t vacuumed in a week because it requires two people to do so. My life is about taking care of the kids, not cleaning. That usually means my home looks horrible to anyone who doesn’t have young kids and as much as I have confidence in my above statements, I don’t really want unannounced guests to SEE that disaster. It causes me all sorts of unnecessary feelings that I don’t need to give energy to.
So, next time you are thinking about just dropping in on a stay-at-home Mom, shoot her a text first. I am sure that she will appreciate the heads up and opportunity to say “thanks but next time” if it’s been a particularly tough day. Even more so, she may just ask you to bring a coffee on your way over. 😉